I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older I end up watching the movie rather than read the book of most titles. Not because I don’t like reading but I think I’m able to sit and concentrate for 2 hours than grab time here and there to finish a book.

I digress.

The Help. Such a thought provoking movie. This film was profound. Invoking such intense feelings and emotions.

Many tears were shed which I was surprised about. I’m not really a “crier” but the depth of emotion portrayed and the relationships encountered and revealed were thorough, and I’m sure didn’t even grasp a glimmer of the complexity and how emotionally damaging, no make that scarring these were.

There were a few scenarios that made me reflect and touched upon my heart. As many I have seen write and quote this story they have mentioned the words of Aibileen

“You is kind, You is smart, You is important”

The first time she mentioned them I thought those, them are empowering words. But moment shifting and life changing for Mae were when Aibileen reminded her of them in difficult and upsetting times. To have those words instilled in you and etched into your cellular memory to fall back on as a coping mechanism is amazing. What a blessed child and what an absolute beautiful carer Aibileen was. My wish is for every child to be spoken these words and reminded of this fact every single day of their lives. I adore the relationships that were spoken of so tenderly by Aibileen and then by Skeeter between maid/nanny and the children of the families.

Another comment that stopped me in my tracks was by Charlotte (Skeeter’s mother)

“Courage sometimes skips a generation. Thank you for bringing it back to  our family”

This broke my heart. Although admittedly Charlotte’s behaviour toward her maid wasnt appropriate, Skeeter wouldn’t have evolved into the passionate, fair, fighting and determined woman she was without the family she was supported by (yes I know Constantine was a major influence) but themes of women, and matriarchal lineage is an important subject. The impact upon our lives (and the patriarchal lineage for men) is immeasurable.

This statement also made me reflect upon the definition of courage and who measures it anyway. Self measurement is of the highest importance in my humble opinion.

Finally, at the end I found myself feeling like I had to apologise for my forebears behaviour, attitudes and undertakings. I was embarrassed, I felt ashamed and I felt sick to the stomach knowing and acknowledging that this truly existed. I’m still pondering if there is anything that I can actually do. I know that time has passed, this can not be changed. It took me back to thoughts of the formal apology to the stolen generations led by our then prime minister, Mr Kevin Rudd. I sat taking it all in at the time. Breathing every word and intention with him. Hoping and trusting that this was going to move our country forward and heal some of the wounds.

I do not know any other world than that of “legal” equality given my age, With gender, age or race/ethnicity. In saying this I know that it is not equal, far from it and there are still areas that are fighting for equality as we know with same-sex marriage. But I am grateful that we have moved forward from the period of time that ‘The Help’ was set in. I am forever grateful that there were people and characters like Skeeter and Aibileen that had the courage and voice to fight the inequality and challenge the obnoxious and closed minded views of many people.

I am thankful and full of gratitude that I have been raised and surrounded by family and friends who have instilled in me the importance of treating everyone the same and to challenge any belief that any person is lesser than. Ah so much more to say and as I write this I feel my words don’t nearly explain eloquently enough.

Below is Powderfingers 2007 interpretation of the continued issues we have in our own country he said at the time he wrote the song  “to bring attention to the obvious disadvantage that is still being suffered by Aboriginal people in this country”, which he said included the issue of “Indigenous deaths in custody”

May we teach our own children the wise words of Aibileen so that they do not feel the need to disempower and disrespect others to feel more powerful within themselves and importantly to ensure the shift and momentum ever evolves.

“You is kind, You is Smart, You is Important”

I haven’t got the best friends since primary school group of friends. Would love to have but my closest is from secondary school. As the years go on I treasure this friendship as that’s what makes it feel so special that we have been there through the years, through all of life’s valleys and mountains. Mama R shares beautifully on a subject I don’t know a lot about. Thank you.

{Please note! That doesn’t mean that any of my other friendships are any less important. I’m just reflecting on time. I love you all the same hehe!}

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A conversation with my younger cousin recently, sparked a flood in memories of times with my friends in late primary school and early secondary school. My cousin is just going into high school and facing lots of new changes and experiences. The conversation made me reflect on the time when I was that age. The biggest thing that stood out for me was my friends. I know that this is not uncommon through adolescence. At the time, your friends can often hold more importance than your parents in adjusting to all the changes that are going on. These memories mostly made me smile. As I opened up a little about my past and my relationships, I realised that I had forgotten how much I laughed and how much I loved every day; largely due to my friends.

I am extremely lucky to have had friends grow up with me right from primary school through to secondary school. I am even luckier to be able to say that a handful of these girls are still my best friends today. I remember a discussion with one of these people, let’s call her Miss Music. She had drifted through her university degree without forming any strong new bonds and, after starting her first teaching job continued on this path until she met her now husband. At the time of their relationship forming, he pushed her to be more social. This one conversation with her has stuck with me all these years on. One of us said to her “Why don’t you want to make new friends?” She replied, “Why do I need to make new friends when I have you guys?” I must say that that made us all feel pretty damn good! I guess we just knew we would all be sticking around. She did make new friends but, like the rest of us who have also made new friends, the old ones tend to be the most special and dear to our hearts.

I have made many friends post high school; some have floated into my life for brief periods and others have remained good friends. I have noticed a common theme; I am attracted most to people who are like my old friends and those are the ones with whom I feel most at home. So I thought I would reflect on these personalities for myself, perhaps for them and for you reading it because the fact is I love them to pieces.

Seeing as I have already introduced Miss Music, let’s start with her. Miss Music and I became friends much later than my other friends; we knew each other from Year 8 but she joined my group of friends in Year 11. Miss Music and I were then placed in the same Year 12 home room class, with no other friends from our group. In the first week of school we had a camp and had to travel by the bus in our home room groups. Miss Music was very quiet and I worried what on earth we would talk about on the long trip to camp. I know that I can talk, but what if she didn’t talk back? (Those of you who know me are likely to be laughing and asking what the problem here is). It turned out that my worries were unfounded. She was quiet but the girl was just as much a chatterbox as me! We found that we had a lot in common and starting with understanding each other’s families (of great importance to both of us) we got to know each other. Miss Music and I would always stay up late at parties and sleep overs and share secrets. I found, and still do find, that I am comfortable to talk to her about anything. I am fairly reserved about really personal things but I feel comfortable opening up to her. Miss Music understands me.

Next I will introduce Miss Happy. Miss Happy and I became friends in Grade Prep. It must be said here that we didn’t really hit it off initially. She tells me that she was jealous of my long golden piggy tails, as she had short “boy” hair. But we got over this obstacle (without me cutting off my hair) and became friends. We played many games (which I sometimes wonder that she indulged me and my wild imagination) such as pet rocks, ninja turtles and hiding toys in our houses and taking turns to find them. We journeyed into high school together and were sometimes closer to each other than other times but the relationship always continued. Miss Happy has always accepted me for who I am and made me feel like I am a special part of her life. She makes me laugh and helps me put things into perspective. I feel a real sense of warmth inside me when I am around her. We were once the same height, now I tower over her. But what she lacks in height she makes up for in heart. Miss Happy loves me.

Miss Funny and I first met each other in about Grade 2 and became friends in later primary school and early secondary school. Our parents both dragged us along to church and we would always try to convince them to go to the same mass so we could sit together. As you may have guessed, Miss Funny made me laugh. She still makes me laugh. So she had me giggling in church, school classes, recess and lunch. I often said I might get a “6 pack stomach” because I laughed so much. However, Miss Funny is not just a joker, she is also very driven and motivated. She puts a goal in her sight and she goes for it. I would never put anything past her and I admire this immensely. She is also very caring and generous. Since finishing university she has travelled a lot and since returning to Melbourne briefly, has moved interstate again. I don’t get to see her or talk to her as much I would like to and know I need to make more effort. But I can say that time and distance do not seem to change our relationship, every time I see her or speak to her we take off from where we left; usually laughing. Miss Funny makes me laugh.

Last but by all means not least, is Miss Rock. Miss Rock and I have been friends since Grade Prep. She and Miss Happy were both at my 5th birthday and I remember going to her 7th birthday party. Miss Rock and I became close when we chose to work on a project in Grade 6 together (a man made out of food!). Living across the road from each other meant that we could work on it after school. We put a lot of work into that project but it really just became an excuse to spend time together. As time went on and we ventured into secondary school, we became inseparable. We spent every minute possible together. We laughed, cried, learnt, talked and grew together. She became a part of my family; the sister I never had. Our relationship has changed over the years and looked different at different times but the strength of our bond has never weakened. Miss Rock now lives in London with her English husband. I know that I must love this girl because, whilst it makes me sad that she is far away, my happiness in her happiness of finding her beautiful husband is real. Thank God for Skype is all I can say! But distance could never change our relationship, we both know that and it is never a source of worry for either of us. Of all my friends, I find it most difficult to describe Miss Rock and our relationship. Perhaps it is because it is so deep or that there just aren’t the appropriate words. Miss Rock is caring, compassionate, thoughtful, genuine, kind, patient and loving. She accepts me, supports me and loves me. Miss Rock is my pillar of strength.

These girls have made and continue to make me who I am. I love them all dearly. They are all unique yet in so many ways similar to each other. They all understand me, love me for who I am, make me laugh and give me strength. I am privileged to call them friends.

This is the beauty of reflection; it reminds us how lucky we are to have those special people in our lives.

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Today I was inspired.

Everyday people. Living their lives BUT changing the world as best they can with the resources they have and most importantly the power they have: their voice.

Today, the government reinstated a partial number of sessions for better access psychological services. As of 1st March and through to the 31st December, 16 sessions will be available for clients/patients to use to see a psychologist through a mental health care plan organised by their General practitioner. Here’s the media release

If we back track we know that previously before cuts last year people were entitled to 12 sessions with an additional 6 in exceptional circumstances. Obviously adding that up its 18 sessions therefore we are missing 2 sessions.

This may appear to be a small amount but it makes a difference. Considering that 18 sessions is still under the recommended 20 sessions advised for cognitive behaviour therapy which is the treatment set out in medicare’s guidelines, ultimately therefore the government’s guidelines; those 2 sessions make a difference.

Todays decision although a win of sorts is not necessarily the best possible outcome for consumers. You see this only lasts until the 31st December of this year. It is described as “transitional”. So unless Mark Butler believes like the Mayans that the world is ending in 2012 this decision and partial reinstatement still does not “cut the mustard” as they say.

“We will therefore reinstate the additional 6 services under ‘exceptional circumstances’ for a transitional period to 31 December 2012″ ~ Mark Butler

Therefore I urge you if you have an interest in mental health, have your own mental health issues, believe in making a noise and fighting the fight for some who aren’t always heard or just believe in the importance of a cause then please contact Mark Butler (@mark_butler_mp); Senator Penny Wright who is advocating for the return of full Better Access services; or your local member for parliament; jump on Social Media or hound your local papers. Just make noise. That is indeed what these empowering beautiful souls did that I have the privilege of knowing some on online, others I do not. But I am grateful for the whole entire Better Access group for advocating for whats right.

A big thank you to all those who signed petitions and made contact to various government members to fight for this cause when cuts were announced late last year.

This affirms for me experiential learning. Learning from within and learning from those around us. You don’t have to read the much publicised guru’s, the next best self-help book or Oprah’s anointed one to be inspired. Your family, your friends, your community, they are the people making a difference. Connecting with others that are passionate about the same causes as you and this will reveal the precious gems we have who are wanting to change inequalities, poor government decision-making and fight for the underdog with every cell in their body.

I admire these people. As I said, I am inspired by these people. Thank you. Much Gratitude.

Namaste`

NOT SAYING ANY MISTAKES WERE MADE =)

Some websites and blogs advocating for Mental Health and the Better Access Services (This isn’t all Mental Health Blogs, or all better access blogs, or the only people who made a noise- some people that made a lot of noise do not have blogs but still were persistent and passionate about the cause):

Alliance for Better Access

John

Alison

Linda

I can specifically say I know exactly what has affected my mood. In a good way. Today I had a really good workout. Yep. The gym. Those endorphins were pumping through my body. I was in an awful mood when I rocked up. Ask my mama and Mr. PT, he looked at me and knew what sort of session he was in for and that his work was cut out for him. By the end of the session and mind you Mr. PT didn’t have to do too much I was actually enjoying the work out and getting into it. As they both joked it was because the work out was finishing that my mood improved but I can honestly attest that the exercise had adjusted my mood.

I don’t particularly like sweat and feeling icky but I do like the feeling of punching the focus pads hard, completing a task efficiently, lifting a slightly heavier weight or for more reps, yeah talking like a gym junkie =) Honestly achieving what I have been achieving has been good. Although in some ways I got complacent.

Over recent weeks I have had an injury and I have not been physically able to run. (Yes for those mind-body readers I have checked it out and I AM working on it ha!) At first I continued to run but eventually its caught up with me and it’s just not possible. I will cause other injury in other body parts =/ So I think this morning I was packed full of frustration and anger at not being able to exercise and more importantly, run for this last fortnight. Although I didn’t run today and still can’t until I heal I felt better having specific exercises that were conducive to me still burning energy and feeling the workout. Bless his cotton socks gym shoes =)

This has reinforced to me how important exercise is for improving moods. I am evidence of this. As I do with clients if i had to rate my mood for the past fortnight it would be a 3/10, honestly after exercising I was feeling a blissful 8/10. Yes you do come down from the high but overall it infiltrates your whole day.

The key factors I have been reflecting on for exercise and improved mental health over the last weeks and months are:

* Any exercise that gets your heart rate up is effective and improves your mood

* Surround yourself with positive people but more importantly those people who are interested in fitness and health

LOVE THIS CONCEPT

* These people need to walk the talk. I know I respect Mr. PT and even listen to him, yes as hard as it is for me Ms Scorpio I take on board what he has to say as he is living proof of the information he shares.

* Utilise vision boards and quotes, they really emphasise what you want to focus upon and also give you that extra kick up the pants to do what you aim to do.

* Use visualisation and affirmations during your workout. What gets you over the line? Thinking a particular line or saying, hearing someones voice say something to you (devil or angel on your shoulder), seeing a picture of yourself a certain way or in a situation that will result as part of your exercise. Anything when you are struggling or need that added push to do that little bit extra. Have it ready to fall back on. Immediate reaction is important. standing in the gym thinking of motivation doesn’t keep the momentum =)

* Use music. I have various running tracks that I flick through. It depends on my mood but also depends on the type of workout I am aiming for. Personally I am mostly a rock chick so I get the most out of my workouts with rock/alternative/pop rock tunes. Although other times I am partial to some dance hits but they must have a certain tempo to keep me motivated. There are certain DJ’s that have remixes that are great for running or fast tempo exercise. By the way – good set of earphones are imperative. You don’t want to have to continually ensure the buds are not falling out of your ears.

* Commend yourself on a job well done. Yes you may have a goal to reach but if you keep focusing on the outcome its going to be an awfully long journey and also when is the end.Health and wellbeing is lifelong. How do you make an end point?

* Fitness, health and wellbeing is a lifestyle. This is only getting through to me now. I had a revelation over recent days. I had a core belief that I wanted to be seen as natural and that I didn’t have to work hard at my figure or health.  I realised that in the past I thought it was my failing that put me in my position where i am today. Yes I was failing by comparing myself to others and by not committing to put myself as important enough to commit to health and wellbeing. I wasnt a failure because of my body shape nor was I a failure because I didn’t bounce back the same as others who “appeared” to not do anything after having a child. I was making poor choices and expecting totally unachievable outcomes.

It’s a complete misgiving that there are people who don’t work at their health. Even if they are lean, it doesn’t always mean they are healthy. I truly believe to be of healthy mind, body and spirit we must invest in it. there is no other way. No short cuts or cutting corners. What I put into something I will receive. What I reap. I sow. (I have mentioned this before here and here)

So in the last week I have been on fitness focused surge. I think as I havent been able to actually exercise I have been devouring motivational quotes and sayings, Pinterest has had a “workout”, I have been following more fitness and health oriented people on twitter and absorbing information, I suppose you could call it fuel for my mind. Half the battle of exercise really is getting over the hurdle of your psyche toward it.

Of course I’m not implying that all our worries, or mental illness is absorbed and no longer existent with a run here or there or a visit to the gym but it certainly makes us feel better and can even help our perception that life and how its presenting at this point in time is a lot more manageable.

Whilst I was away last week I decided to take advantage of the lovely beach side town that I used to call home and spent my exercise time hitting the pavement rather than the treadmill. It’s a much nicer view and I honestly miss it.

During my walks most nights I had magpies intercept my path and walk along side me. At first I thought nothing of it, then I realised that they actually appeared when I was thinking certain thoughts or on particular topics.

A crow also visited me whilst at the park on the swing. He/she made sure I noticed them by the way they were flapping about and playing in one spot. Yes strange I know but the kerfuffle made me look up.

Some may say that these are just mere coincidences, that I’m reading too much into seeing some birds in their environment but as you know I believe in coincidences, I believe in signs and I believe in symbolism. These birds were too coincidental to ignore.

So as I usually do when a sign or symbol arrives for me to pay attention to I looked it up. This time I used my trusty Animal Oracle Card deck from Scott Alexander King.

Magpies in his analysis reflect, In brief summary: Balance: “If a magpie has swooped into your cards today, you are being guided to a place of awareness. You are being shown how to better understand the innate marriage between the opposites that are equal and the duality within all things. You are being primed for a deepening of purpose and a broadening of perception…A review of values…It means being ready to walk a path of the heart to find a place of inner freedom.”

Crows speaks about :Law “Crow encourages us to seek the wisdom found in the inner silence and to ponder our actions and reactions to life. Her appearance generally heralds a sudden but necessary change, a wake up call or a lesson in self discovery…listen to your instincts and act upon them in a way that honourably serves your purpose…you have all the wisdom and knowledge you need within you to make the right decision. Call upon it now and you cannot make a mistake.”

This makes sense for where I am at now. If any of it doesn’t then it always gives me food for thought. Something to reflect and work out if it is relevant or not and what I need to take away from the information.

Animals have long been held of high importance in symbolism, of meaning or defining a cause and even used as totems both personally or familially. It is a key aspect of shamanism.

Historically we can look to the indigenous people who work so well with animals, their spirit and symbolically include the animals traits in their ceremonial work, understanding personality and character of a person.

I think we also unconsciously and consciously connect ourselves to certain animals and their traits by our likes and obsessions. Elephants are my adopted totem. I was actually addicted to them in my younger years and had a collection, this collection is safely packed away until I can put them somewhere they can be appreciated without being mishandled by little people. Although considering my obsession I think the characteristics are now instilled in my being and are relied upon as needed. Do you have an animal like this?

Other animals float in and out of our lives. For periods of time or as they did for me over those few days, to point me in the right direction or bring ideas or reflections to light.

I think its great to draw on the energy or the characteristics of the animals that resonate with you.

Is there a certain animal that is with you all the time or you connect with? Or is there an animal of late that has been attracting your attention?

Feel free to write the animal in the comments section and I will respond to you with their characteristics and meanings from the information I have and refer to.

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I had actually pondered this also, particularly when I wrote this post.

There are similar projects that have the same idea and intention with gratitude or photos for a year/365 days.

With this idea in mind for 2012 I felt that I had to develop a skill within me. Focus upon something that needed polishing up.

I came to the realisation that I wanted to focus upon and place intention into Serving.

To serve.

Yes I know. Nothing original here. Most religions I am aware of speak in some form of service to others and to “God” (I am using this as a reference point, please insert the name/title you prefer) and as you would have seen we also have mottos such as “to serve and protect”.

It’s also of note that yes in my field and profession it is a field of service. Yet there are factors that detract from this if we look at service in its purest form, such as wage or payment, referral from others, the profession or title and looking further the personal gains and/or gratification one receives.

When looking further into this concept and theme this definition arose:

“The purest service is to help others and to seek the welfare of others without the expectation of reward. “

(Apologies I’ve tried to find the source that I had. It was a random site.)

By focusing upon service I also believe it will bring me closer to my ongoing soul work with the heart chakra and love. To love. To be loved. Unconditional love. Self love. Love of others and any other concept and definition related to love. {See last post regarding some of my thoughts shared on same}

I know a few years ago I had an issue with the words “To serve” I felt that it was religious in some respects and by that I mean that it felt like an outdated notion, I then felt that it made me “lesser than” if I was to serve another. But as my self-reflection has progressed and the dark corners of my shadows have gently come to light. I realised that this was in actual fact a fear based belief. It had little supportive evidence and was developed from who knows where. I am grateful I have been able to cleanse a part of my being uncovering this small truth.

Now as usually happens with me, fortuitously and as to be expected serendipitously I was searching for an image for this post. The google search that caught my eye? “To serve” by Martin Luther King. Today in the United States it is Martin Luther King day! Hows that for coincidence. I had also never heard this speech. Things happen for a reason as they say. I come to expect this as normal now. The universe and I are starting to have a really good understanding and communication level

So I would “love” some help

I want to know some really great ways in which I can serve. I’ve already thought of working for a volunteer agency or organisation that has op shops or provides meals. Does anyone have any unusual ideas. Something that my skills fit perfectly like a puzzle piece.

I was also wondering do you have a word or focus you’ve chosen for 2012?

Thanks for your help!

~XX~

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I just had an aha moment whilst I was procrastinating drawing oracle cards and fluffing about as usual which I do when I am avoiding doing something which is more of a priority. This time it seems there is benefit from my actions. If I had my way I’d say there was benefit in my procrastination always but alas I have now digressed. This post has actually leap frogged another post I have that I havent gotten around to posting

“…treasure this enough to nurture it, and have it grow….”

This is the line that I read that sparked the avalanche of thought.

I’ve never really liked gardening. Not that I have ever really attempted to “garden” but it’s never drawn my interest to get in there and make a garden. I’ve entertained thoughts of a veggie garden, which is still on my to-do list but any other efforts have only produced attempts at tomatoes and cucumbers mmmhhmm. I’ve purchased pot plants and they just never really make it, oh and I love bonsai’s. These last a little longer than anything else. Dont ask me how or why as I don’t have the answer.

So I asked myself what is the essence of gardening? To nurture. To tend to the soil. Upkeep with regular maintainance,and anything else that needs to be done to ensure its growth.

Self love. In essence what helps us to love ourselves more?

Nurture, nourish, tend to, maintain and anything that assists our growth.

If I am to truly love my whole being. Every surface. Every ounce, I need to have these skills. Be proud to show my garden in full bloom I suppose you could say.

I’m not saying that I don’t have some self-esteem and self-confidence, I think these concepts can be mistaken for self-love. I think self-love, and I’m only touching the surface is about accepting who we are but be willing to work on and improve those facets of our personality. Shine our silverware, but be mindful and conscious of the dark that is in the closet and bring that to light. I also think self-love is inner happiness, respect for self and simply being heart centred in our mind, in our thoughts, words and actions.

The thing is you can’t expect the rain or external factors to keep your garden alive. Rain and Outside influences can fluctuate, are unpredictable and you can’t self regulate. So that’s why many gardeners observe their garden, make plans and decide what’s best at any given time.

So I think as a gardener of my own beautiful sacred space I need to be mindful of this. Why would I look to outside influences to nurture my own space, my own heart? Yes it does a whole lot of good for my self-esteem, yes it may be love but the real satisfaction must come in the fact that I’m loving myself.

Talking of sacred spaces I watched eat pray love finally the other night. The line that resonated with me and I think is applicable also to this situation of our mind and our love for self:

“Are you being ridiculous groceries (Julia Roberts), the meditation room is within. Go decorate that!” ~ Richard from Texas

It’s time to do the hard yards. I need to pull out those weeds, tend and nourish the soul and prepare it attentively for my love of self. I then need to plan further action to keep the garden maintained. Yes?

Here she comes again, one of my teachers, Louise Hay speaks and writes page after page of self-love. She has also created exercises to fine tune your skills. Many other texts speak of the importance of doing so. Not just specifically self-love but the essence of love such as Marianne Williamson and Anodea Judith. Im sure you know many more.

As always I think to myself if I am improving me and doing the inside work then it has to have a flow on effect somewhere. Loving others, mirroring for others, being a role model. In any way this hopefully has other benefits than just for myself.

Do you love gardening? Or is there something you’re really not a fan of in life that in actual fact the essence of it can be translated to self? Would love for you to share.

Im off to create a sacred garden and most importantly get my hands dirty looking after it and myself!

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I was looking over at my old blog for some information and saw a couple of old posts that I liked and thought I could bring them over here. Im sorry if you have read them before but it has been a few years and maybe you have a different perspective and response to them now.

The post below and its theme really resonated with me. Even now, particularly as a new year begins and we get all reflective about what we did and didnt achieve the year before, what we want to achieve in the coming year and in the future.

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Over recent weeks I have had a few ‘signs ‘ to check in and keep an eye on what im doing or life will pass me by.
I was sick for a few weeks and obviously not processing life as well as could be expected therefore the reason for my symptoms (see mind-body connection). Then last week I watched the movie Australia. I found a wonderful message in that movie – Hugh Jackman “Drover” says to Nic Kidman who was trying to prevent Nullah (the little aboriginal boy) from going walkabout -

“You have to let him go, otherwise he wont have his story to tell. He needs his story.”

and continued with the explanation.

It got me thinking. What is my story? Do I like my story? What do I want my story to say after its all said and done. Have I stopped other people with following their story with my actions? Importantly, now that I have little people how will I react when they tell me they need to go “walkabout”? Hugh Jackman will whisper in my ear and tell me that they need to go right? Doesnt mean I will deal with it any better. This is something that I think I may need to work on.

What I can do is look at my own walkabout journey and 2012 I’m going to write a magical story. Fairy tales still exist right? I have to be consciously co-creative in the story that I write. Why would I just let it happen without any thought and look back with regret at what I did do but more importantly what I didn’t do because of inaction, unconscious responses and behaviour.

In some ways its like a eulogy but its an active one – one you can change all the time in the future but once something has been done -its permanent and its on the page. Not that theres anything wrong with that but if you really want to have the life you want – its about thinking what your story is that will be told. Theres nothing like the present!

What is your story? Do you like your story? What do you want your story to say?

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Mama R has been whipping out the blog posts for me. You may have to slow down lovely as I’ll have to put you on the payroll

In this beautiful post Mama R reflects and realises the journey of a year and all its worth. Thank you beautiful. Wishing you a wonderful 2012  ~XX~

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It’s New Year’s Eve, and I have just put the kids to bed. Daddy R is on night shift and I have declined a couple of invitations to barbeques as decided that the girls needed a quiet night. In truth, right now an actual “quiet” night would be a perfect way to see in the New Year. All I wanted for Christmas was a good night sleep, but I guess Santa got distracted. I do love my new wallet though J.Back to the topic however, I really enjoyed my early evening with my gorgeous girls and just soaked them in. Something I know I need to do more often. It made me think about New Year’s Eve and seeing in the New Year.Perhaps I am actually able to reflect on this concept both broadly and personally because I am not distracted by parties, eating and drinking.

New Year’s Eve is a time where it seems many people start making “resolutions” for the coming year. I like this concept really; changing things in your life to make you happier, more peaceful or healthier. But how many resolutions do we actually stick to? I’ve made plenty over the years; walk the dogs every day, send a birthday card to every extended family member, go to the gym 3 times a week, eat healthier, be more positive. Some are measurable, others not so. Success has varied. I wonder though, if we made more time for reflection on the year that was, that it would create a ripple on effect and the changes we wish for or resolve to have in our lives would occur more naturally. So that is what I am going to do… now.

This year saw a new addition to my little family. Along with Little Girl 2 came a bunch of experiences and an enormous learning curve; right from day 1.

I learnt that I am both stronger and weaker than I imagined. I learnt that by trusting myself and having faith that I can achieve amazing things but I also learnt that I have vulnerabilities of which I was previously unaware.

I learnt that I had a rule book in my head about what a good mother was and what she should do. I learnt that trying to live to these ideals was exhausting and unachievable; that I just need to do the best I can. I also learnt to throw the book away.

I learnt that just because I have had a baby before, does not mean it is easier the second time; it’s just different. I learnt that I need to enjoy my girls and that the housework can wait.

I learnt that I can live on a lack of sleep for much longer than I thought but that focusing on this is unhelpful for me and I am much better off going to bed as early as possible. The sleepless nights will end (hopefully!).

I learnt that Daddy R and I are an awesome team. I love him more now than I ever did.

Other things I learnt were not so much related to my children or role as a mother.

I learnt that social media can be a friend and foe. That it brings out the best and worst in people but that, like life, I can choose to see the best and put energy into those people who enrich my life.

I learnt that (not for the first time) I cannot control what people think or say about me, I can only control my actions and know that I did not deliberately mean to hurt or upset anyone.

I learnt that I have something to give others from my professional knowledge and experience, even on maternity leave.

I learnt that I tend to focus on how far it is to travel to my friends and family, rather than how close they really are.

I learnt that exercise makes me feel better in myself; it’s not just about the fitness.

I learnt that writing helps me process things and was surprised and pleased that people might want to read it.

So that’s me! As I write it all down, I can see the resolutions that will flow on from these things I have learnt. I hope I have learnt them well enough that I don’t trip up but deep down know that much of it I will need to continue to work at and that that’s ok. I have had a wonderful year but a challenging year; the great thing is that I go through relatively unscathed and am ready to do it all again.

What did you learn in 2011? How will this impact your New Year?

Thank you for reading the few pieces I have had on this blog over the year. Thank you Precocious Lotus for having me on but more importantly for the wonderful pieces you write. They make me reflect and for that I am a better person.

Happy New Year and all the best for 2012! May your reflections fulfil your resolutions.

Mama R x

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The Words Are Below:

“Return To Innocence”